Twilight Twenty Five: Spero
by profmom72
Summary: My entries for the LiveJournal Twilight 25 challenge. A series of random one shots and drabbles. Going canon on this one, mostly C but varying POV's and ratings.
1. Dark

**Disclaimer: All publicly recognizable characters, settings, etc. are the property of their respective owners. The original characters and plot are the property of the author. The author is in no way associated with the owners, creators or producers of any media franchise. No copyright infringement is intended.**

The Twilight Twenty-Five

Prompt: Dark

Pen name: Profmom72

Pairing: Carlisle

Rating: K+

_A/N: Here is the first of my Twilight 25 entries. They will each stand alone, but they are all Carlisle centered. I don't own them, but if I could pick one to be mine, it would be him._

* * *

**Prompt: Dark**

Though a fire blazed, I saw only black.

For three days I wondered why God had forsaken me. Was I not a good boy? A dutiful son? What sins I'd committed had been confessed, repented, and atoned for.

Then came the dawn of my new existence.

For one moment I rejoiced in the light of the new day, but realization drove me back into the shadows where I lurked for a century.

Hospitals are busy, bright places. They never shut down or go dark. People say they are depressing. I say look closer; find the light reflecting the life within.

* * *

_E/N: Thanks as always to Hmonster4 for her fabulous beta skills. And special love today to staceygirl aka jackbauer, daisy3853, and lucette21. They know why. _

_Thus begins the quenching of an obsession. I've developed a bit of a fetish; gisellelx's Ithaca is Gorges has only fueled it. I need more Carlisle, so I'm going in. Thanks in advance for reading and reviewing._


	2. Bitter

**Disclaimer: All publicly recognizable characters, settings, etc. are the property of their respective owners. The original characters and plot are the property of the author. The author is in no way associated with the owners, creators or producers of any media franchise. No copyright infringement is intended.**

The Twilight Twenty-Five

Prompt: Bitter

Pen name: Profmom72

Pairing: Carlisle

Rating: K+

* * *

**Prompt: Bitter  
**

The fire raging through my body had been quenched, but I couldn't escape the burn. I knew what I'd become. Though I wished to deny it, the inferno in my throat would not let me forget.

Both suicide and murder were sins; I would be consumed by the flames of hell either way. My decision was easy; I would burn without killing on my conscience.

My failure to die ultimately led me to that herd of deer. The nearly intolerable scent prevented most from considering the option.

The deer's blood snuffed the blaze, that bitter taste becoming my salvation.

* * *

_E/N: My gratitude to hmonster04 as always. Thanks to staceygirl aka jackbauer for gut checks.  
_


	3. Apathy

**Disclaimer: All publicly recognizable characters, settings, etc. are the property of their respective owners. The original characters and plot are the property of the author. The author is in no way associated with the owners, creators or producers of any media franchise. No copyright infringement is intended.**

The Twilight Twenty-Five

Prompt: Apathy

Pen name: Profmom72

Pairing: Carlisle

Rating: K+

* * *

**Prompt: Apathy  
**

Wealth, Power, Pleasure, Notoriety. Three men welcomed me into the fold; they wouldn't mind a fourth.

The possibility of a cultured life called to me.

Hate, Jealousy, Greed, Sloth. A girl in blond plaits became a snack; a man with kind eyes the main course.

It would be so easy. My body craved it.

"This is who you are," Aro urged.

"This is the life you must lead," Caius sneered.

Marcus's dead eyes said nothing … and everything.

Not me.

"_Go now_," I said to myself. "_While you still feel. __Before you are pulled under into the quicksand of apathy."_

* * *

_E/N: Posting on my balcony overlooking the ocean. It's a rough life. Thanks to hmonster04. Probably one more drabble and there will be a longer chapter. Thanks for reading and reviewing!  
_


	4. Rapacious

**Disclaimer: All publicly recognizable characters, settings, etc. are the property of their respective owners. The original characters and plot are the property of the author. The author is in no way associated with the owners, creators or producers of any media franchise. No copyright infringement is intended.**

The Twilight Twenty-Five

Prompt: Rapacious

Pen name: Profmom72

Pairing: Carlisle/Garrett

Rating: K+

* * *

**Prompt: Rapacious  
**

Just another immigrant with a dream.

I treated the injured rebels, choosing to side against rapaciousness.

He fed off the men wearing red coats.

Just another militia man with determination.

I thought we might become friends, might find our way together.

But our paths were not the same.

Still, Garrett planted a seed. His eyes were red, but his intentions were golden.

I began to see possibilities. Others of my kind could co-exist with humans. Perhaps, I'd find one or two who shared my vision.

I knew my journey would be long, and all I craved was a little company.

* * *

_E/N: Back home and already cold. I lied. There will be at least one more before a longer chapter. You can thank hmonster4 for this one; she even owns a line. Gotta love history majors. This is just a guess on how Carlisle and Garrett may have crossed paths. Thanks to everyone reading and reviewing. For some crazy reason they made me a VIP at www (dot) adifferentforest (dot) net Pretty soon, I'll have my own cabin, and you can come hang out and toast smores with me.  
_


	5. Patience

**Disclaimer: All publicly recognizable characters, settings, etc. are the property of their respective owners. The original characters and plot are the property of the author. The author is in no way associated with the owners, creators or producers of any media franchise. No copyright infringement is intended.**

The Twilight Twenty-Five

Prompt: Patience

Pen name: Profmom72

Pairing: Carlisle/Edward

Rating: K+

* * *

**Prompt: Patience  
**

In the medical world, waiting is pervasive. Doctors wait for signs; patients wait for answers; loved ones wait for cures. Technology has sped the process considerably, but patience is still necessary.

I believed it one of my greatest virtues.

After all, how long had I endured my solitude?

And then he lay writing in pain, venom snaking its way through the nooks and crannies of his body, simultaneously destroying and creating. Life to death to birth again.

I had to wait.

In the days spent wondering what would happen when Edward awoke, I discovered I was not patient at all.

* * *

_E/N: Thanks to Hmonster4 as always. Don't forget to submit your nominations for the Indies! ElleCC has a great C2 of Twilight 25 fics. Also, I now have a cabin at ADF, so feel free to come hang out.  
_


	6. Morose

**Disclaimer: All publicly recognizable characters, settings, etc. are the property of their respective owners. The original characters and plot are the property of the author. The author is in no way associated with the owners, creators or producers of any media franchise. No copyright infringement is intended.**

The Twilight Twenty-Five

Prompt: Morose

Pen name: Profmom72

Pairing: Carlisle/Esme

Rating: K+

* * *

**Prompt: Morose  
**

It was different with Esme. Edward's mindreading influenced his early reactions. I expected her to lash out or to runaway. Instead, she withdrew, barely moving from her spot near the fire. It was as if she were trying to warm her frozen heart.

Weeks passed before she told me how she'd come to be at the bottom of the cliff.

"I didn't know," I answered cautiously. "I just couldn't leave you there."

"Now what?" she asked, her eyes meeting mine for the first time.

In that moment, I risked hoping her heart would thaw. Maybe vampires could change after all.

* * *

_E/N: Thanks to Hmonster4 as always. No, I didn't actually use the word here, but it was how I see Esme's mood. Finally, the next one will be a longer chapter for you, and it will be a different POV but focused Carlisle. Thanks for continuing to read.  
_


	7. Taut

**Disclaimer: All publicly recognizable characters, settings, etc. are the property of their respective owners. The original characters and plot are the property of the author. The author is in no way associated with the owners, creators or producers of any media franchise. No copyright infringement is intended.**

The Twilight Twenty-Five

Prompt: Taut

Pen name: Profmom72

Pairing: Carlisle/Esme

Rating: T

Warnings: Contains non graphic discussions of domestic violence and suicide.

* * *

**Esme POV  
**

**Prompt: Taut**

My heart stopped. Literally. Everyone knows the heart doesn't really contain our emotions, but I'll admit I worried at first. I wasn't in a very good place. That's an understatement. I was in the worst kind of place on every level. I've heard Emmett joke about thinking he had died and gone to hell during his transformation, but I didn't wonder. I knew that was what happened. I was expecting it. After all, I already lived there so it wouldn't be much of a change.

I'd spent my whole life in the front row of my church pew, and that message was loud and clear. Those who took their lives burned in hell. I went in with my eyes wide open. You see, I knew that the fire would hurt less than living without my baby.

It's been a very long time, but it never gets easier. I've had many more years than I should have been granted, and the wound has not healed entirely. Strangely though, it was in my "death" that I learned to live with my loss.

At the time though, I thought I had nothing to live for. My husband was not a good man. In those days, no one listened when you told them about your domestic problems, so you kept it to yourself. You stayed in a lot, busy with housework. You wore sunglasses and scarves and big hats when you had to go out. Anything to hide the bruises, to mask the scars.

I'd hoped things would be different when he came back from the war. At first, I really thought it was going to be, but it didn't last long. His relief at being home soon faded ,and the gentler version of himself disappeared, leaving me battered and drained. We all know so much more about domestic violence today, and I realize my story isn't atypical. Back then, I was so confused and scared, and I felt completely and utterly alone. I didn't know anyone going through what I was. When it first started, and even for a long time after, I blamed myself. I thought maybe I just wasn't good enough. Maybe I wasn't a good wife. Maybe I was weak, and that's why it hurt so much or bruised so deeply. I had internalized it all. Again, typical.

Rosalie asked me once what finally gave me the courage to flee, and I didn't have a good answer. It was just time. I was done. When I look back now, I can't help but think maybe there was something else at work though. Shortly after I ran, I found myself so tired all the time, and I assumed it was just the stress catching up to me. When the nausea came, I knew. I thanked God every day that I left before he found out because I couldn't imagine what he would have been like through a pregnancy. Or worse yet if he'd been around after the baby died. My behavior would have been unacceptable to him.

You can imagine then that when I lost the baby, I took that on as well. It must have been my fault. There was something wrong with me. I was not fit to be a mother or a wife, and those were really the only identities I'd been allowed to consider seriously.

The term heartache was literal for me. After the baby was gone, I was in constant pain, both physical and mental. I stopped eating. The only thing that helped was sleep. I slept a lot, as many depressed people do, but that would have only angered him more. There would have been no food on the table; the laundry wouldn't have been done; and no one would have picked up his socks. So he would have yelled and he would have beat. The odd thing is I don't think his abuse would have hurt anymore, not when my heart was aching so badly.

I didn't jump to end the pain. Like I said, I knew more was coming for me on the other side. I jumped because I decided one misery was better than other. I missed my son so much. Plus, I felt certain Charles would come for me. Somehow, someday, he'd find me. I would not go back. I couldn't go forward. I would rather be trapped in that hell than his.

But then when my heart stopped, so did the ache. All of my physical pain was gone. All the scars from the welts he'd inflicted disappeared. My heart, though, was now broken both literally and figuratively, and I was confused and angry. I didn't want my heart to stop. I didn't want to let the heartache go because I was afraid I would forget my baby.

Waking up to Carlisle's face was a surprise to say the least. I remembered him. Of course I remembered him. His face was the kindest I'd ever seen. When we'd last met, I was a silly girl, still full of life, still hopeful for the future. A whole life had passed in those ten years, and I couldn't imagine what he might see in me.

I could tell he was just as confused, and that my sadness upset him, but I didn't know how to change it.

It took me a while to come to terms with everything—my abusive relationship, my grief, my transformation as it were . . . Carlisle—and I can't say there was a magic moment or anything, though had Edward not been there, who knows how things might have gone. People look for reasons, for answers, for proof. I know our family formed in the order it did for a reason; we were meant to be. Edward had to come first.

"Esme, do you need anything?" Edward asked. Carlisle had been gone for a long time, working at the hospital, and I assume Edward had been placed in charge of my care. Days had morphed to months, and little had changed in my state of mind.

I simply shook my head. I'd spoken very little. I'd allowed Carlisle to explain what had happened, what I'd become. The ever dutiful woman, I did as asked. I hunted when he urged me to; I read a book if one suggested it.

I could tell Edward wasn't entirely pleased to see his partnership with Carlisle expand to include me. In this home, there were no secrets. When they spoke, I felt like an intruder. My new sense of hearing was unnerving. I wasn't sure how I felt about it either, but I didn't know where else I could go.

He shrugged and turned to leave the room, showing all the signs of being the teenage boy he still was. Still there was so much more to him than that.

"Wait," I called out, not even sure what I was going to say. He stood there with his hands shoved in his pockets, doing exactly what I asked, waiting. I paused. There were so many things I could ask, but I wasn't even sure what answers I needed. "How long have you been like this?"

He answered without needing to think about my meaning.

"Not that long, I guess. A few years."

I nodded. He continued to wait. Obviously, he knew I had more on my mind. I appreciated that he let me ask before answering. I don't think I could have handled it if he'd responded to my thoughts.

"Carlisle's much . . . older right?"

He snorted. "Yes, significantly."

Edward leaned against the door, his posture indicating that he welcomed more questions. Patiently waiting for my words to form.

"Was it hard for you?"

He nodded and sensing the conversation was growing, that I was actually going to speak, sat down in the chair next to me. "I'm sure my ability helped. I knew what Carlisle was thinking."

My mouth drew into a taut smile. I understood what Edward could do, but it was kind of like this whole existence, understanding didn't mean accepting.

"And what was that?" To have insight into Carlisle's psyche would be amazing. I was so confused about my feelings towards Carlisle. Nothing about him ever made me doubt his intentions, but I didn't know if I could trust a man again—they had all disappointed me.

"Esme, what did you think of him when you met him?"

I was surprised he'd turned the question on me. But I knew the tight expression on my face had softened.

"I liked him a lot."

"You liked him?" he urged. And I laughed for the first time in as long as I could remember.

"Oh my goodness, Edward. I had such a crush on that man. I thought he was the nicest, gentlest, most handsome man I ever met."

"That's the thing about Carlisle. What you see is what you get."

"He says he couldn't let me die."

"That's what he said to me too." Edward looked me in the eye. "I have my disagreements with him, but Carlisle is a very good man, the very best kind of man. You never have to doubt that."

"Was he really alone all that time?"

Edward shook his head. "He spent some time with others here and there, but it was different. Not like it is with us. I don't know how he did it. It goes against his nature to be alone."

I assumed the "us" in question did not include me.

"Do you hate me?"

His brow furrowed, and he shook his head. "I don't know you."

"But you were here first. My presence changes things, doesn't it?"

The glimpse of the petulant teenager returned in his shrug. I wanted nothing more than to reach out and hug him. It was the first time I saw these men for who they really were—two lonely boys. Boys I could take care of, in very different ways.

Things didn't change overnight. Carlisle was still avoiding me, and I was too shy to approach him, not really certain what direction our relationship was supposed to go or what I was capable of giving. Once again, it was Edward who eased the transition.

It was probably a month or so after my first conversation with Edward. I was curled up in the parlor of the house reading a book, and Carlisle was making notes at the dining room table. This was the way it had been. All there, but not together.

That night, Edward did something unusual. He got up from his spot where he'd been staring out the window. As he passed, he placed his hand on my shoulder and squeezed. He made his way to the piano. I'd heard reference to the fact that he played, but when his fingers began to find the keys, I couldn't help but look up. I didn't know the tune. My ex-husband had called jazz the devil's music.

The smile crept across my face involuntarily, and my foot tapped to the beat. When the song ended, another picked up. I glanced around the room, and through the doorway I could see Carlisle staring at me. A similar smile on his face. I looked down and my feet and laughed. He looked at his. They were tapping too. He nodded to me, and I threw up my hands as if to say "Why not?"

He crossed the room in an instant, and before I knew it, we were covering the entire downstairs from room to room Carlisle spinning me and dipping me as danced and danced. We never struggled to find a groove; our bodies seemed to know each other's rhythm instinctively. I couldn't say how many songs Edward played before the music faded. When we came to a stop, I was still laughing. Then I caught Carlisle's eyes again just as Edward began a new tune, a much slower one, a deeper one. Carlisle pulled me closer, and fell into him without hesitation. I rested my head against his chest while he ran his hands up and down my back. We barely moved. We didn't need to. We were where we were meant to be, bound to each other inexplicably.

He's been my husband for seventy years now. There are so many things I could say about that man, but the simplest and truest statement is this.

In this completely unorthodox life, we've created exactly what I always dreamed of. A family. I am a wife. I am a mother. I am loved.

My heart ached. Then it stopped. Finally, he healed it.

* * *

_E/N: __In this one, I did use the word taut, but it's really about woman stretched to the point of breaking. _

_Thanks to Hmonster4 as always. She's up for an Eddie and a Bellie, so keep your eye open for voting.  
_


	8. Languid

**Disclaimer: All publicly recognizable characters, settings, etc. are the property of their respective owners. The original characters and plot are the property of the author. The author is in no way associated with the owners, creators or producers of any media franchise. No copyright infringement is intended.**

The Twilight Twenty-Five

Prompt: Languid

Pen name: Profmom72

Pairing: Carlisle/Rosalie/Edward

Rating: T

* * *

**Languid**

**CPOV**

Parenthood is not easy.

It amazes me how the same people you love more than you ever thought possible can anger you, frustrate you and honestly, annoy you to no end.

"Why her?" he'd asked me.

"Why me?" she'd demanded upon waking.

I never had a good enough answer. I still don't. Perhaps they were just the two most beautiful people I'd ever seen, and I thought they belonged together.

Clearly, I was wrong.

One sucks the pain in; the other spits it back out.

I love them both, but god help me, they exhaust me.

Typical siblings, I suppose.

* * *

_E/N: __Love to the insanely busy Hmonster4.  
_


	9. Honest

**Disclaimer: All publicly recognizable characters, settings, etc. are the property of their respective owners. The original characters and plot are the property of the author. The author is in no way associated with the owners, creators or producers of any media franchise. No copyright infringement is intended.**

The Twilight Twenty-Five

Prompt: Honest

Pen name: Profmom72

Pairing: Rosalie/Carlisle

Rating: T

* * *

**Honest**

**RPOV**

I've been called a lot of names over the years—ice queen, bitch, snob to name a few. I suppose that's the way most people see me, and I'm okay with that. I've always been something of a small pack animal. It takes a long time for me to trust someone, and I don't run around hugging every new person I meet.

Yes, I'm jaded. How could I not be?. Frankly, I can't figure out why everyone isn't more like me.

People are shits. It's true. Ask Edward; he's spent a bazillion years listening to their thoughts, and I'm pretty sure he'll tell you they lie and backstab and get worked up over nothing. Ask Jasper; he has to feel their jealousy and spite and hatred and shame. When I say people, I'm not excluding vampires. I'm pretty sure we're shits too. At least, I know I can be.

But I think I have good reason to be.

You're probably thinking "what a hypocrite,' or maybe you're back to the beginning and you're thinking I sound like a bitch. Either way, you're right. I am a hypocrite because when I was human I trusted a little too easily. I think most women did back then. Men were supposed to protect us. Why would we doubt them?

And I'm a bitch because today, I would rather keep people at arm's length than risk letting anyone hurt me, or the people I love, like that again.

Like I said. Small pack. In my case, pretty much family only. That doesn't mean I have an entirely open door policy with them either. In fact, I've kept a lot of rooms locked off, probably for too long. I'm not always proud of my behavior, but my only defense is that I'm protecting myself.

Someone has to.

The problem is that sometimes people come knocking on the door, and I'm too scared to let them in, or they ask to see one of those locked up rooms, and I divert them somewhere else. I tell myself it's for the best, but I always thought people understood. For example, I thought my family knew how much loved them, how much I would fight for them, despite not leaving my doors wide open.

It came as a real surprise to me when I learned how wrong I was. But the miscommunication went both ways. Funny how it is that even the people you love the most can sometimes fail to see you clearly.

For what it's worth, I do love my family. I give them a lot of credit for putting up with me over the past umpteen years. I put up with them too. After all, we each have our own issues. Except Carlisle. I never thought he had any really. I guess I always thought of him as pretty much perfect. Well, save for his blind eye to the favorite son, but generally, that wasn't an issue until fairly recently.

It turns out, he and Edward had more in common than I anticipated. That whole self flagellation thing. It was probably forty years before I realized how deep it went with Carlisle, and how much it affected our relationship.

"Rosalie?" he asked looking up from his chair on the other side of the room. We were pretty much alone. Everyone else scattered about the house or out and about.

"Yeah?"

"I could use some help with something, and I was wondering if you had a minute."

I looked at him skeptically. Carlisle was never really one to ask advice.

"Sure," I shrugged.

He rose from his chair, moving closer to me. He sat down on the couch next to me, but he seemed nervous. He brushed his lap a few times with his hands. I was mentally urging him to start talking.

"So, I have this patient," he began all of a sudden, speaking a little too quickly for Carlisle. "She's nineteen. I've actually known her for a while. I performed her appendectomy a couple of years ago."

He paused and swallowed.

"She was a very sweet girl. She was quite popular in school."

"Yeah?" I said absently, not at all sure where this was going.

"She stayed close to home for college because she didn't want to leave her family. They're very close. I know her parents quite well too. Anyway, last year, she met a boy, and they've been dating ever since. Everyone liked him, said he was very respectful.

I had a strange feeling about this. Nothing definite. Just strange. "Where's this going, Carlisle?"

"He raped her." No mincing words or beating around the bush. Just out with it. "Okay," I answered slowly. "You've dealt with rape patients before. What do you want from me?' I kept a cool façade, not wanting to let my emotions heat up.

"There's a bit more to the story. It was quite violent. He had a knife, and he did significant damage. She almost didn't make it." Here he paused again, looked up and me and immediately looked away. "She will not be able to have children."

I stared at him.

He didn't look up at first. He waited in silence to see how I would react. He was good about that with me. He gave me time to process my thoughts without forcing me to react too quickly. I'm capable of admitting that when pushed too hard, too fast, I am likely to shove back.

"Anything else?"

"What do you mean?" he asked.

"What do you want from me? You're the doctor."

He exhaled and met my demand. "She's very angry, Rosalie."

"And?" I huffed. "You don't have a therapist for that?"

"I'm sorry. I know I'm being vague. It's just there are things you and I have never said, and I'm not exactly sure how to address them."

It was unusual to see Carlisle insecure. Tentative, sure. He was always cautious in decision making, but this was real uncertainty.

"Now? You want to talk now? It's been an awfully long time, Carlisle."

"I know. That was my fault. I thought you just needed time, and then once you found Emmett, I hoped it wouldn't be necessary."

"Maybe it's not," I insisted.

"It is," he responded, the confidence creeping back. "You see, this girl, she rattled me. I saved her. I worked very hard to put the pieces back together so she could have a life. But I keep looking at how angry she is, how broken she feels, and I can't help but wonder if saving her was the right thing to do. But I'm a doctor, and that's what I do. I save people. I just …" he sighed. He looked up at the ceiling searching for words. "I just want to know that it will get better for her. That maybe the anger will subside."

I glared at him for a second. He was asking for an aboslution. I'm not stupid. I could see that, but I could also hear what was implied. How he saw me. An angry, bitter, resentful woman.

That's the part I reacted too.

"I'm not going to do this," I said, standing quickly.

"Rosalie, wait, please talk to me."

"Don't. Not right now." I shouted over my shoulder as I ran.

I didn't go far. There was a lake near the house where deer often went for a drink. Easy prey, but I needed to take something down. I need the human equivalent of an adrenaline rush. I didn't pick the biggest one; I sought on the one that I could the most chase, the fastest.

Once the small buck was drained, I punched a tree, not hard enough to snap, but enough to create a dent.

I felt every bit the angry, resentful woman he'd accused me of being.

Emmett found me shortly thereafter. He didn't mask his approach, and I didn't run. I figured I needed to vent, and he was always a good listener.

"You okay?" he asked from a distance.

"No," I answered honestly.

"Carlisle's pretty upset."

"Yeah well, the feeling's mutual." I threw my hands up in the air and launched in. "How can he think so little of me after all these years?"

Emmett was well within my line of sight by then. I let my anger fly. I screamed. I ranted. I went off on Carlisle and the whole damn family.

"Rose," he said gently. "You don't really think all that."

I would have argued with anyone else. But Emmett knew me too well. It was pointless. I sighed. Then I started again.

"What does he want from me?" I pleaded.

"I don't know. An honest answer maybe?" Emmett was close enough now that I wanted to reach out and grab hold of him, but I didn't. I needed to stand on my own through this one.

"I mean if he really wanted an honest answer today, I would have told him she should stop playing God. He should have let the girl die."

Emmett's face crumpled. I hadn't anticipated how he would receive that tidbit.

"Shit, I'm sorry."

"Do you mean it?" He was so quiet, so scared of the answer.

"You know I don't," I replied as reassuringly as I could.

"I always thought so, but now I'm not sure.

"Emmett," I started but I didn't know how I was going to finish.

"You know, Rose," he interrupted. "I get it. I really do. Everything that happened to you sucked, and I don't expect you to just forget. But sometimes, I wonder if you know how good you have it. I am not attacking you. I love you more than anything, but honesty goes both ways."

He didn't wait for me to lash out or break down. He left me to think.

It took longer than it should have. For days, I gave everyone the silent treatment, lost in my own unhappiness. I'd like to say I had a great epiphany. I didn't.

It just sort of happened.

Several days later, I was sulking in the window seat, staring out the front window. Jasper and Emmett were playing chess. Emmett was trying to cheat through Edward who sat behind Jasper. There was laughter.

Esme and Alice were chiding them all from the couch where they had several magazines splayed before them, looking at ways to upgrade the garden.

I didn't say anything to them when I got up. I just walked silently to the small office Carlisle kept on the first floor. He'd been holed up in there for days.

He looked up when I got to the doorway.

"She'll never get over it," I said.

He nodded slowly. "I'm sorry."

"I'm not finished. She won't get over it, but she can find happiness again. You said she has a good family right?"

"Yes, the best."

"Yeah, that's important. It's everything really."

I saw his expression begin to change. I assumed if he could cry, he would have. I might have too.

"I really am sorry, Rosalie."

I leaned against the door jam. "I know. But that's not why I came. I thought it was about time I thanked you."

He raised an eyebrow and tilted his head.

"I didn't choose this," I said waving a hand at myself. "But it's a good life. You gave me Emmett, and everyone else. Well, you gave me you too. "

He gave a single nod and swallowed.

"I guess that's all. I just thought you should know."

"I love you, Rosalie," he said as I went to leave.

It was a really impulsive and uncharacteristic move on my part, but I turned around and walked right up to his desk. I threw my arms awkwardly around him while he was still sitting there. It was kind of an odd side hug thing, but it worked. We both knew what it meant.

"Let me know if that girl needs someone to talk to," I answered without looking back. I knew he heard me.

I'm only being honest when I say I still think given the choice, it's best to live out the one life you were given. This forever business is a lot more complicated than it looks.

I meant what I said though. Family's everything, and I have the best. So that makes it a little bit easier.

* * *

_E/N: __Thanks as always to Hmonster4.  
_


	10. Slip

**Disclaimer: All publicly recognizable characters, settings, etc. are the property of their respective owners. The original characters and plot are the property of the author. The author is in no way associated with the owners, creators or producers of any media franchise. No copyright infringement is intended.**

The Twilight Twenty-Five

Prompt: Slip

Pen name: Profmom72

Pairing: Emmett/Carlisle

Rating: T

* * *

**Slip**

**CPOV**

"Come on old man, you can still keep up, can't you?" Emmett teased, rushing toward the boat.

He stood by the slip, waving me down. I maintained my slow pace, a silent taunt in return. He laughed while hunching over and pretending to use a cane, mocking my geriatric state.

I have always attempted to stay impartial when it comes to my five "children." I love them all in different ways but equal parts.

Emmett is special though.

No one gives him enough credit. If I am the rock, then Emmett is this family's glue.

Without him, we'd fall apart.

* * *

_E/N: __Thanks as always to Hmonster4.  
_


	11. Prelude

**Disclaimer: All publicly recognizable characters, settings, etc. are the property of their respective owners. The original characters and plot are the property of the author. The author is in no way associated with the owners, creators or producers of any media franchise. No copyright infringement is intended.**

The Twilight Twenty-Five

Prompt: Prelude

Pen name: Profmom72

Pairing: Emmett/Rosalie/Carlisle

Rating: M

* * *

**Prelude**

**EmPOV**

A knock on the door pulled me out of a very deep sleep. I had no idea how long the fist banged before it finally registered. The sound had infiltrated my subconscious. In my dream, I was watching a tap dancer, wishing the show would end soon. I groaned loudly when I looked at the clock. 2:14. No good knocks came at that time.

Hell, I'd only been asleep for a couple of hours myself after hanging out with some friends at a tavern on the other side of town. I think we were all still celebrating the end of prohibition. Not that people around here hadn't found plenty of ways to celebrate when it wasn't legal, but we had a tendency to get a little drunker and a little louder than we did a couple of years ago.

When I threw my legs over the side of the bed, the night caught up with me. I almost told whoever was on the other side of the door to go fuck themselves, when I heard the voice.

"Emmett? Are you in there? Please let me in."

"Damn it," I said, forcing myself to the door.

The second I opened it, Mary pushed her way through.

"Thanks, I need a place to stay."

"Come on," I groaned. "Not tonight."

"Baby, please? I'll make it worth your while." She batted her lashes at me.

I rolled my eyes at her. Mary and I had gone out a few times, and I liked her well enough, but she definitely wasn't the kind of woman I would take home to mama, if you know what I mean. And I was getting pretty tired of it. Of all the girls like this. I came to the city a year ago because the work prospects were better here. Not that they were great anywhere these days, but I had to do something to help out. My mom had been renting out rooms to borders for a few years just to make enough to pay the taxes on the house. I kept hoping I'd hear of a good opportunity back home. I used to think I'd find a nice plot of land not far from town, build a little house, and meet a nice girl. Now I'd take the nice girl and a job that covered the bills.

"What are you doing here?" I asked.

"Old man kicked me out when I got home too late."

"Why don't you go shack up with that fella I saw you with the other night?"

"Don't be sore, Emmett. Frank doesn't mean anything. He just made a little money on a fight last week, and he was excited. Wanted someone to share the wealth with, you know?"

"You're always so obliging, Mary."

She looked at me with big eyes, trying to make herself look innocent. I shook my head and pointed to the bed. "I'll be on the sofa."

I wasn't really playing the gentlemen; I just didn't want to run the risk that my body might take the any port in the storm philosophy when my head was holding out for a nice calm harbor. I didn't need a lot of action, and I wasn't interested in people bustling about. I was ready for something I could settle into.

Her disappointment was evident in her facial expression.

I grabbed a blanket and a pillow from the dresser next to the bed. The room I rented didn't have much space. Just the bed, a wash area, and the couch. It wasn't a terribly comfortable place to sleep, but I was so tired I didn't care.

Mary might not have been a girl mama would have liked, but I was still enough of a mama's boy that I wasn't going to make a lady sleep on it.

Mary didn't give up easily. She was down to her slip and stockings in about five seconds flat. She made a show of it too. Slowly dropping her skirt.

"You sure you're comfortable there?" she called out.

"Yeah, sure," I lied, my legs hanging of the edge of the damn thing. "Just hit the lamp would you?"

I heard grumbling as she found the light, but I stopped looking. As tired as I was, sleep didn't want to come. I found myself thinking about that little piece of land and maybe about the girl who might be in the house. If I ever found her, I'd love the heck right out of her.

I stayed awake far too long thinking about that girl. Maybe I hadn't met yet but I loved her just the same. I made plans for us. I slept restlessly. In my dreams I was searching endlessly for her, never successful.

I woke up the next day around noon; Mary must have cleared out, because there was no sign of her anywhere. That didn't bother me at all. I was feeling kind of down though. I couldn't quite shake the feeling that I was a big old disappointment. I knew my folks and my friends wouldn't be very proud of the way I'd let city life influence me. Just last week, the old man who had the room down the hall kicked the bucket, and I ransacked his truck before any family came to get him. It wasn't my best moment, but times were tough, and I figured God had to know that. I didn't get much. A few bullets for my rifle and a pair of boots that weren't too worn out. For a long time, I tried to justify things like stealing and gambling and women with the whole 'when in Rome' philosophy, but the fact was I was still in Tennessee, only a matter of hours from home. I didn't need to act like I was in a whole other country.

I decided I needed some perspective. Maybe if I got out of the city for a day or so, I could clear my head, figure some things out. Get back to me.

I didn't have a way to get all the way back home, but I grabbed my rifle, a fishing pole, and shoved a few things in my bag. A night under the stars would do me a world of good.

I didn't have much time to get any hunting in that night. I managed to catch a fish and start a fire before it got too dark to get around. I hoped I could keep the fire going through the night. Up here in the hills, it was chillier than I expected. I didn't figure I'd get a very good rest. I built up a makeshift pillow with some leaves and grass and tried to sleep.

As expected, I wasn't feeling very good come morning. My back ached from two nights without my bed. My head was pounding, and I was hungry. First order of business was to find a rabbit or something. I hadn't set up any snares the night before, so my only choice was to get moving and get myself something to eat.

I didn't have much luck. Seems everything worth shooting decided to sleep in that morning. I got crabby fast. I was about ready to pack it in and head down the hill when I ran into some trouble. A whole lot of trouble.

It hadn't occurred to me that there might be another reason the rabbits and foxes were so scarce. I'd been out of practice too long. It seems that bear was just as hungry and crabby as I was because he didn't take too kindly to my invading his turf. My rifle was slung across my back, and I just couldn't get it in place fast enough.

The last thing I expected when I went up there was that I'd end up in fight with a damn bear. A god damned ornery son of a bitch at that. He was the type that liked to play with his food. When I was out hunting with my dad about five years ago, I tripped and lodged a knife in my thigh. That thing hurt so bad I thought I'd have to chop my own leg off to make it stop. But I'd be hog tied if that wasn't like the prick of a needle compared to the pain that bear put me through.

I could tell the end was near. He must have been tired of playing with me, but by then I'd lost my wits. I couldn't make sense of anything. I couldn't move and my consciousness was slipping away, when I heard what I thought was another bear and a fight over which would get my carcass, I supposed. Suddenly it felt like I was flying. I figured I'd died, but I tried to open my eyes anyway. And then I saw her, and I knew I was dead. I didn't even mind the pain. I fought to keep my eyelids open. I didn't want to miss one second of the angel's face.

I'd spend that day realizing I had a bit too much fun in my twenty odd years, so when the angel delivered me to God in his white jacket and perfect face, well I wasn't surprised to find myself burning in hell. The angel stayed though. I didn't know why she stayed with me in the fires of Hell, and I kept thinking God was going take her back with him every time he came to check on me.

I burned for a long time, but it wasn't so bad. I deserved the fire; it was made bearable by the cool touch of the angel. The more I looked at her, the more she looked an awful lot like the girl in my dream—the one who waved at me when I came out of the fields or slapped my arm when I tried to wrap my arms around her belly while she stirred the pot, laughing the whole time.

When I woke up, my angel and God told me the truth.

"You mean like that movie?" I asked. I saw _Dracula_ in the movie house. Went back a second time too with a date just so she'd let me hold her hand and even put my arm around her when she got scared.

"Not exactly." God explained his name was Carlisle. This is my take on Carlisle. Even if he weren't the about the best man I ever met, I'd still love the guy. See, he had the good sense to save an angel.

I wasn't too bent out of shape about the whole thing. My life wasn't going so great as a human, and I didn't really think that I was going to get a farm any time soon, so I was just happy to have the girl.

People might wonder about my Rosalie. She's kind of rough around the edges to some. But they don't know her. I do though; I knew her before we met.

Other people look at my Rose and they see a beautiful woman. I get that. I see it too. Hell, I'm in awe every damn day that this woman wants to be with me.

But that's not all I see. Deep down what I know about Rose is that she's just a girl. She's the kind of girl my mama would have loved; she and I would have made babies and laughed. She would have been tough enough to handle bad crops and lean days. She would have been loyal and true.

It's all good to me though. I don't need the land anymore or the babies even.

I got the only part of the whole deal I ever really needed anyway. You all take the house.

I'll take the girl.

* * *

_E/N: __Thanks to staceygirl aka jackbauer and to hmonster4. I'm not sure how things are going to go with finishing this twi25 business, but I have several prompts written, and I'll try to get through the rest. Give me a shout out if there are particular parts of the story you'd like to see a CPOV drabble on, and I'll see if I can oblige. Thanks for continuing to read!  
_


	12. Collide

**Disclaimer: All publicly recognizable characters, settings, etc. are the property of their respective owners. The original characters and plot are the property of the author. The author is in no way associated with the owners, creators or producers of any media franchise. No copyright infringement is intended.**

The Twilight Twenty-Five

Prompt: Collide

Pen name: Profmom72

Pairing: Carlisle

Rating: M

* * *

**Collide**

**CPOV**

Though I've been on this earth centuries, I do not know everything, nor would I want to.

When you stop learning, you stop living. The greatest knowledge comes when we run head on into something unexpected. How we react in those moments reveals character and fosters growth.

Fear often drives us away or causes us to fight.

"Is it possible? Could they destroy us?" Edward asked.

"Not a chance," Emmett claimed. "There are five of us, and we're stronger."

I considered it carefully.

"I'm inclined to talk to this Ephraim Black."

It was one of the best decisions I've made.

* * *

_E/N: __Thanks to hmonster4. I appreciate everyone still reading. I'm trying to get through this. I promise to try._


	13. Fragments

**Disclaimer: All publicly recognizable characters, settings, etc. are the property of their respective owners. The original characters and plot are the property of the author. The author is in no way associated with the owners, creators or producers of any media franchise. No copyright infringement is intended.**

The Twilight Twenty-Five

Prompt: Fragments

Pen name: Profmom72

Pairing: Carlisle

Rating: M

* * *

**Fragments**

**CPOV**

I thought we were complete. We'd forged an identity and a routine.

When the door knocked, what choice did we have?

Later, I realized they were exactly what we didn't know we'd been missing. Alice's unending positivity and Jasper's ability brought a peace and a perspective to the family we'd never known. I had chosen the others. These two chose me. In the end it didn't matter. I love them all the same.

Pieces of a puzzle. We were meant to fit together, the seven of us.

The hole in the center should have told me more pieces were missing.

* * *

_E/N: __Thanks to hmonster4. Thanks for the lovely compliments. I've been bad about review replies. RL has been a little stressful, but that doesn't mean I don't appreciate them.  
_


	14. Restraint

**Disclaimer: All publicly recognizable characters, settings, etc. are the property of their respective owners. The original characters and plot are the property of the author. The author is in no way associated with the owners, creators or producers of any media franchise. No copyright infringement is intended.**

The Twilight Twenty-Five

Prompt: Restraint

Pen name: Profmom72

Pairing: Jasper

Rating: M

* * *

**Restraint**

She runs swiftly, but I barely notice the speed. I am mesmerized by the poetry of her movement. The cadence reveals a song. I rise, prepared to dance to it. I don't get one step in before she is in my arms, leaping from a spot seemingly too far away to be possible. She never ceases to surprise me. I love how little she holds back, a complete antithesis to my reserved nature.

My years prior to Alice were spent in a world where the only expressed emotions were greed and lust. For someone like me, the change is both welcome and overwhelming. I can accept it now, but I don't always find myself able to give it back.

I am still laughing when I feel her mouth on my bottom lip. It's the kind of move that really catches me off guard. An unconventional kiss. Something to keep you guessing.

"Good hunt?" I ask when she pulls away.

"It was fine. I missed you though. It never feels right when we're apart." She smiles at me, hiding nothing.

Though it's only been a day, I understand what she means. It isn't as if I can't enjoy time with other members of my family, but given the choice, I'd always prefer to be with her.

I look into her eyes, and I'm quite simply lost and found at the same time. It is the most amazing sensation, and I can barely get a handle on my own emotions. I may be able to influence others' feelings, but sometimes my own overpower me. For so many years, gratitude and love were foreign concepts. When they hit me this strongly, I just want to fall into them and never leave.

Alice seems to understand. She says nothing, nuzzling her face into the crook of my neck, and I let myself just feel.

I remember too much from both my human life and my years with Maria. Alice, on the other hand, has no memories. She says the first memories that really matter to her were actually visions of the future.

The first was seeing me in that dingy diner in Philadelphia. My whole world changed that day. She altered my path and allowed me to become someone I never would have imagined. Or at least try to be.

The second "memory" that she holds dear was Carlisle opening the door to what became our home.

Because of her ability, Alice sometimes forgets what a leap of faith it was for everyone else. I went along with her because I believed in her, and I tried not to reveal my fear that these people would laugh at us, or worse yet, attack us. I was worried about more than the physical threat. If they had turned us away, the rejection would have been very hard for Alice to take.

In my limited experience, I wasn't prepared for the reaction that was to come. I had never met a vampire who would welcome another into his territory. The idea that we would be anything other than a threat was incomprehensible.

But there is no other vampire like Carlisle Cullen. No coven like this one.

It's no secret this lifestyle has been harder for me than others. Perhaps I just had too many years of a different path. I am not exactly like the rest of them. My past marks me. Literally.

My scars are always visible. The first time Carlisle noticed my scars, his eyes went wide. I could tell he was trying not to stare. He didn't say anything then though. I quickly learned that wasn't his nature. He showed restraint in more ways than one. When I shared my story, Carlisle tensed. . He tapped his foot anxiously and his jaw went rigid. I don't know if I can accurately describe the complexity of emotions that came from him. A mixture of disgust, sadness, pity, and even a hint of anger. He doesn't like conflict. The very idea of it pains him . It didn't take me long to figure that out about him. He's not naïve. He just works very hard to see the good in everyone and everything. With that outlook, something like war is a travesty.

"I trained newborns," I said, answering the implied question. I assumed he'd be able to ascertain the rest.

"There are so many," he replied, referring to the silver gashes.

"Yes."

"I'm so sorry."

"It is what it is." I could feel him grapple with his emotions. Even then, he was conscious of how his moods affected me. More than anyone else, he paid close attention and made conscious attempts to later his own state for my sake.

"I'm pleased you're here now," he said.

I know we all came from different backgrounds, some extremely tragic. That, to me, is the biggest difference. Tragedy implies they were victims.

I'm not like Edward. I don't beat myself up for my mistakes, and I can't say that I have the same level of remorse for my actions that he does, either. I'm a survivor. I did what I had to do. I still do.

I looked back at him and nodded. "It's definitely different. I didn't know what to expect."

He nodded thoughtfully. "It took a lot of courage to give us a try."

I'm sure I reacted oddly. I could feel my body jerk and my head tilt.

"You don't agree," he said.

"I just think you all took to the bigger risk. I mean look at me." I motioned toward my torso. "Plus, I'm still struggling."

"We all struggle, Jasper."

"Not you."

"I simply have more practice. It will come in time." He sounded so sure of it. I knew he was wrong. Carlisle's restraint is unparalleled. It's not about time or practice. He simply cannot willingly hurt another human being, and he counted vampires in that category.

I am not quite ready to say that I would choose this lifestyle if it weren't for Alice, but it's hard not to be affected by all of them, him in particular. When you're around that kind of role model every day, how can you not endeavor to emulate it? His honesty, his absolute goodness cannot be denied, and he makes us all a little better just by showing us what's possible.

"Are you still with me?" Alice brings me back to the present.

"Always."

She smiles coyly. I love that smile.

I love this woman.

And even if I am a square peg in a round hole, I very much love this family.

* * *

_E/N: __Thanks to hmonster4. I love her so much I even let her post our picture on adf. :)  
_


	15. Vibrant

**Disclaimer: All publicly recognizable characters, settings, etc. are the property of their respective owners. The original characters and plot are the property of the author. The author is in no way associated with the owners, creators or producers of any media franchise. No copyright infringement is intended.**

The Twilight Twenty-Five

Prompt: Vibrant

Pen name: Profmom72

Pairing: Carlisle

Rating: M

* * *

**Vibrant**

Guilt is a useless emotion. Logically, I know this. I see how it eats away at people and destroys relationships.

Watching my family struggle against their individual and collective demons, logic didn't prevent me from experiencing the emotion myself.

Edward was the first and consequently, the worst.

Then he found her.

He came to life.

He stepped outside of himself.

He laughed.

While his guilt grew, mine disintegrated in the evolving potential.

In the grand scheme of things, eighty years of guilt was a small price to pay when the chance to see him smile forever was on the table.

* * *

_E/N: __Thanks to hmonster4. And for a fun surprise . . . one of the remaining drabbles will be ghost written. See if you can guess which one.  
_


	16. Lithe

**Disclaimer: All publicly recognizable characters, settings, etc. are the property of their respective owners. The original characters and plot are the property of the author. The author is in no way associated with the owners, creators or producers of any media franchise. No copyright infringement is intended.**

The Twilight Twenty-Five

Prompt: Lithe

Pen name: Profmom72

Pairing: Carlisle

Rating: T

* * *

**Lithe**

"Nothing's changed then?" I asked.

"No, it's the same. It's always the same. We would save ourselves so much trouble if we just stopped fighting it."

"You've been wrong before, Alice."

She nodded agreeably. "But no matter what he does, this vision, it just _is_."

If she's right, Bella will be one of us.

With that she bounded off after a deer, her graceful strides mimicking the fluidity of the animal's agile gait. I smiled after her. I never envied her gift of sight, but, I coveted her ability to make the most barbaric acts seem natural, even potentially beautiful.

* * *

_E/N: __Thanks to hmonster4.  
_


	17. Obsession

**Disclaimer: All publicly recognizable characters, settings, etc. are the property of their respective owners. The original characters and plot are the property of the author. The author is in no way associated with the owners, creators or producers of any media franchise. No copyright infringement is intended.**

The Twilight Twenty-Five

Prompt: Obsession

Pen name: Profmom72

Pairing: Carlisle

Rating: T

* * *

**Obsession**

Laurent claims James will not stop. Unfortunately, I believe him because I've seen it before.

I don't pretend to understand it. Other vampires may call it instinct. A dog defends his bone. A lioness attacks her prey. They argue we are more like animals than humans.

I cannot and will not accept that.

Instinct is powerful, but why would we be granted the same capacity for rational thought, the same freewill, if we were not intended to use it?

I am angry, but I cannot give in to it because then he has the power. Reason is our best weapon.

* * *

_E/N: __If I am going to make the goal, I will be pushing these out pretty fast, so no worries about squeezing in reviews. They won't all (like this one) be beta'd do don't blame hmonster4 when they suck. Do keep your eye out for the ghost written entry. I can't wait to see if you can figure it out.  
_


	18. Awe

**Disclaimer: All publicly recognizable characters, settings, etc. are the property of their respective owners. The original characters and plot are the property of the author. The author is in no way associated with the owners, creators or producers of any media franchise. No copyright infringement is intended.**

The Twilight Twenty-Five

Prompt: Awe

Pen name: Profmom72

Pairing: Carlisle

Rating: T

* * *

**Awe**

I stood quietly observing my son. He shared Bella's pillow, gazing at her while she slept.

Inhaling deeply he turned to me with a brilliant smile. My brow creased as I wondered how he could smile at such a time.

"The scent of the transfusion's fading," he responded simply.

_The more it fades the more it hurts you._

"Yes, but it means Bella's healing." Inhaling again, his smile grew.

As Bella stirred I silently withdrew from the room, contemplating what I'd witnessed.

I never thought to see myself bested for self-control of all things. My son put me to shame.

* * *

_E/N: __They're just going to keep coming now. I hope. Thanks for continuing to read! Keep watching for the ghost writer!  
_


	19. Red

**Disclaimer: All publicly recognizable characters, settings, etc. are the property of their respective owners. The original characters and plot are the property of the author. The author is in no way associated with the owners, creators or producers of any media franchise. No copyright infringement is intended.**

The Twilight Twenty-Five

Prompt: Red

Pen name: Profmom72

Pairing: Carlisle

Rating: T

* * *

**Red**

That night, I watched my family disintegrate. Like tissue paper splattered with a few drops of water, it all just came apart.

One drop of blood was all it took.

None of us needed Alice's ability to see what was coming. Edward had never been good at hiding his emotions.

We all tried to convince him.

"You're his father! Can't you make him stay?" Alice urged futilely.

I'd never used my autocratic father as a parenting example.

The only way he would learn was to make his own mistakes.

For all our sakes I just prayed Edward would learn quickly.

* * *

_E/N: __I'm still trying.  
_


	20. Comfort

**Disclaimer: All publicly recognizable characters, settings, etc. are the property of their respective owners. The original characters and plot are the property of the author. The author is in no way associated with the owners, creators or producers of any media franchise. No copyright infringement is intended.**

The Twilight Twenty-Five

Prompt: Comfort

Pen name: Profmom72

Pairing: Carlisle

Rating: T

* * *

**Comfort**

They rock crying infants in the middle of the night.

They bandage skinned knees.

They stay up late worrying about their teenagers.

For days, we'd been consumed with concern for their safety. Now, as we waited at Sea-Tac for all three of them to return, our emotions were heavy.

Jasper sat just two chairs away, staring at the floor.

Rosalie reached over and squeezed his shoulder.

Esme rubbed circles in the palm of my hand.

Emmett smiled at Esme.

Years of watching families in waiting rooms, and I finally understood the power of such simple gestures in times of need.

* * *

_E/N: __Getting there.  
_


	21. Willing

**Disclaimer: All publicly recognizable characters, settings, etc. are the property of their respective owners. The original characters and plot are the property of the author. The author is in no way associated with the owners, creators or producers of any media franchise. No copyright infringement is intended.**

The Twilight Twenty-Five

Prompt: Willing

Pen name: Profmom72

Pairing: Bella

Rating: T

* * *

**Willing**

Edward did everything he could to dissuade me. He wasn't alone. He had the unsolicited help of James and Victoria, the Volturi, Rosalie, and of course, poor Jasper. Their combined force should have convinced me that being a vampire was not without sacrifice, that there were parts of yourself you would lose forever. They all showed me in very different but equally persuasive ways.

None of them worked.

I am as convinced as ever that this is my path, but that doesn't mean I go into this without giving serious thought to the arguments made both by example and by direct appeal.

Rosalie tried hard, and I appreciated her perspective. She had dreams as a human that went unfulfilled. I don't have those same dreams or expectations. I was never big into playing with dolls, and when people asked me what I wanted to be when I grew up, I didn't answer, "a mom." Come to think about it, I can't really remember what my answer was or whether I ever actually had one.

My mom usually answered for me. "There's plenty of time for those decisions," or "She loves books. I bet she'll find her passion there."

On my college applications, I did cite my love of literature, because I had to say something. I had to have a plan even if it was one I'd merely conjured in order to make other people happy. The truth was, I didn't care much about my future until I met Edward. It was like nothing made sense before he came into my life. I had no sense of purpose. I didn't fit in with my peers, and I didn't care about the things that mattered to other teenagers. I couldn't foresee that things were going to change either.

So talking about babies or growing old didn't make me cling to my human life.

Believe it or not, even though there were plenty of strategies used to get me to change my mind, the thing came close to convincing me was completely unintentional. That probably sounds ridiculous, but it's true. Maybe James should have been enough to make me run screaming, and I can't explain why he wasn't. I was scared of him, orwhat he could do to the ones I loved, but he didn't made me think I shouldn't become a vampire. I saw him differently. He and Victoria and the Volturi all fall under an umbrella together. I think of them as the bad ones. Good and evil can be very easy to separate.

I think that's why it was different with Jasper, why he caused me more pause. In his case, it wasn't anything he did. There was no conscious effort to tell me what to do or not do. He voted to let me in the family after all. It was what happened at my eighteenth birthday party.

It all happened so fast, I didn't even think to be scared or overwhelmed. Afterward, I was so caught up in convincing Edward that it was no big deal, I never stopped to consider the possibility that it was actually a problem. I worried so much about how Edward would overreact, and I didn't want Jasper to feel guilty, so I focused my efforts on making them all feel better. "It wasn't his fault. He didn't mean to. I should have been more careful. I'm just fine."

I meant it, and I still believe it today. Accidents can happen to anyone, including vampires.

He'd acted without thinking. He'd attacked on instinct. He literally could not control himself. He wasn't evil, or vengeful, or power hungry. He just couldn't help himself.

Admittedly, that was what eventually scared me. In the end, James and Victoria and the Volturi were far less frightening than the idea that you could lose yourself, that vampirism meant you became someone inhuman.

I suppose that was what Edward tried to tell me from the beginning. It wasn't enough to make me seriously consider not going through with it all, especially as we got closer to the wedding. I just wanted to make sure I could hold on to myself in the process. There was only one person I felt comfortable talking to about it.

"Carlisle, do you have a minute?"

He looked up from his papers, motioned to the chair, and said, "Certainly."

I sat down and immediately began fidgeting with my sleeves. Carlisle was patient. He knew something was on my mind, but he didn't bother asking the obvious question. He just waited.

"I know everyone is caught up in wedding planning, but I've been doing some thinking about what comes after that."

Carlisle raised an eyebrow. He opened his mouth, closed it, and then opened it again. "That's natural. Are you sure you wouldn't feel more comfortable talking about this with Esme?"

He rolled a pen in his hand, he kept glancing down at it. He wasn't looking me in the eye.

I stared at him for a second, tilted my head to the side, and then realization hit me, and I actually laughed. "Oh no, I didn't mean that. I meant even later, like when we get back."

"I see." He nodded, clearly relieved. I'd never seen Carlisle flustered before, and I found it rather endearing.

I'd known Carlisle for a while at that point. I'd been just as dazzled by him as I had been by Edward, just in a different way. He was the smartest man I'd ever known and definitely the kindest. I'd looked into those eyes many times, but in that moment, I saw him differently. He was just a man, a brilliant, amazing man, but a man nonetheless. A man who worked hard every day to become the person sitting in front of me. It wasn't magic. It was the most human thing in the world.

I smiled.

"You know what?" I said slowly. "Never mind. I'm good."

"Are you sure?" he asked skeptically.

"Yeah, I'm absolutely positive."

When I stood to walk out of the room, I tripped over the rug next to his desk. He stifled a laugh, and I waved at him. There were plenty of things that would change. There were things I would miss from my human life, but I was ready. A very clear path had been forged in front of me, and I had every intention of following it.

* * *

_Thanks so much to staceygirl aka jackbauer for helping out with proofing. I think I'm sick of Bella so this one was a fight, but I'm in the home stretch, I hope._


	22. Worry

**Disclaimer: All publicly recognizable characters, settings, etc. are the property of their respective owners. The original characters and plot are the property of the author. The author is in no way associated with the owners, creators or producers of any media franchise. No copyright infringement is intended.**

The Twilight Twenty-Five

Prompt: Worry

Pen name: Profmom72

Pairing: Carlisle

Rating: T

* * *

**Worry**

"You need to take a break." Esme's tone was firm but encouraging.

"I can't," I insisted. We both knew she wasn't concerned about my physical wellbeing. "I just need more time."

"Carlisle, you're doing the best you can."

"That doesn't appear to be enough." I turned back to my desk, an array of books and papers splayed across the mahogany. A glance at my computer screen revealed fourteen open windows. I rubbed my face with my palm. Were I human, exhaustion would have already claimed me.

I knew there had to be answers somewhere. I would not lose them both.

* * *

_E/N: __Just in case it wasn't obvious, he's referring to Bella and Renesme here.  
_


	23. Earnest

**Disclaimer: All publicly recognizable characters, settings, etc. are the property of their respective owners. The original characters and plot are the property of the author. The author is in no way associated with the owners, creators or producers of any media franchise. No copyright infringement is intended.**

The Twilight Twenty-Five

Prompt: Earnest

Pen name: Profmom72

Pairing: Edward, Renesemee, Carlisle

Rating: T

* * *

**Earnest**

I sang softly, drawing small circles on her cheek. I kept the chair rocking in a slow, fluid rhythm. When I ran out of words, I hummed.

I knew I would be in trouble with Bella later; she warned us all to stop coddling the baby. I would deal with her wrath for this though. This baby, my baby, wouldn't stay little forever. In fact, at the rate she was growing, I didn't know how many more moments like this I had.

She stirred a bit, and I rocked a little harder.

I'd been trying to hide the extent of my fear from Bella. If it weren't for my focus on her transition and helping her acclimate to her new body, the worry would have consumed me.

Renesmee dreamed while I rocked her. She saw her mother and me, and she played with a giant rattle. The images were too advanced for a child only weeks old. She understood too much; I could barely see the remnants of her newborn phase as she had morphed into a walking and talking toddler.

If you had asked me a year ago whether I wanted to be a father, I would have scoffed. For nearly a century, it was a question I hadn't been allowed to ponder, so what good would it have done to answer it? In convincing Bella to marry me, I'd told her I was "that kind of boy," one who married his high school sweetheart and went off to war. A part of the equation, presumably, would have been children.

I doubted it would have been like this though.

In those days, men were different. I couldn't recall ever seen a man rocking a baby in my youth, but then, maybe I hadn't been paying attention.

I'd been playing the son for so long that the concept of fatherhood had turned foreign to me. I never dared imagine myself in a role I had no hopes of fulfilling.

Now, I couldn't imagine letting this go, and it was hard to believe there was a time when I didn't love her.

My humming turned to the quiet whisper of a familiar tune, the words popping into my head despite my never having been particularly fond of the song. "_And I thank God I'm alive. You're just too good to be true, can't take my eyes off of you_." The rest of the lyrics didn't apply but those lines said so much.

My fingers moved to tracing her lips.

"Don't read too much into it," I said, knowing Carlisle had been standing there a few minutes. "It's just a song."

He smiled.

"Anything new?" I asked.

"I'm afraid not." He looked weary. I knew it wasn't possible for him to be physically tired, but he was clearly spent. He'd gone from being completely at a loss over how to handle Bella's pregnancy to trying to figure out what risks Renesmee faced with her rapid growth. Obviously, he hadn't aged, but it was one of the rare moments when his years showed.

He took a few steps into the room nodded toward Renesmee and asked, "How is she?"

I smiled. "Perfect."

He nodded and sat down on the couch. "She's quite a miracle isn't she?"

I exhaled, defeated. "Yes, she is."

Wisely, he chose not to engage any further discussion on life and soul and God. He accepted my three little words as the admission I'd intended. There was no way to look into this baby's face and not see something greater than myself, and listening to her little heart beat, I knew without doubt, she had a soul.

"When was the last time you hunted?" I asked, changing the subject.

"I'm going tomorrow." He was clearly resigned. Apparently, I wasn't the first person to ask him recently.

"Good."

He waved a dismissive hand. "Do you mind?" he asked, motioning toward a chair in the room.

I shook my head and continued to rock my daughter slowly.

Carlisle picked up a book and feigned reading. I think he intended to use it as a distraction but his thoughts kept slipping to measurements and trajectories. He would catch himself quickly and then shake his head.

"You don't have to do that, you know?" I said.

He turned toward me and raised an eyebrow.

"You don't need to cover up." His skill at reading people was so amazing, I sometimes forgot he wasn't able to read minds as well. From the beginning, he'd always been exceptional at protecting me from thoughts that might confuse me or cause pain. The reality was, I knew what we were facing, and no matter how dark the blanket he tried to throw over the problem, it was there. "I'm scared too."

"You're really a father," he said quietly.

"Are you just figuring this out?" I asked with a wink, my attempt at levity.

His response was serious. "In some ways, yes. We've been consumed with the dangers for so long, I haven't stopped to think about what this means for you. Between the pregnancy and now her growth, my mind has been focused on medical issues, rather than on you. Have I even congratulated you?"

It was so incredibly Carlisle I couldn't help but smile.

"Have I even thanked you yet?" I responded.

We looked at each other knowingly for a long time, understanding growing between us.

It was an odd moment. He saw me as an equal yet I felt clueless. "You know, I'm not only afraid of what's happening with her body. She's a huge responsibility, and I'm scared I'll mess it up."

"All parents think that. You know that, Edward."

I nodded. "But that doesn't make the fear any less real."

"No, I don't suppose it does, but I can't imagine you failing at anything."

"You have far too much faith in me," I argued.

"I fear you don't have enough in yourself."

I had been both blessed and cursed with two sets of supportive parents over the course of my time on earth. While my memories of the first had faded, I remembered enough to know that in both cases, the models I had to follow had established a very high bar.

Carlisle was suddenly standing next to me, a hand on my shoulder. "You won't be perfect. None of us is. All you can do is try."

Then, in a very un-Carlisle-like move, he tousled my hair. In stark contrast to the silly gesture, he said, "I'm proud of you."

With that, he left me to my thoughts. They were simple. Renesmee stretched. I looked down at her again, and realized he was absolutely right.

I would try.

* * *

_Rushing to get it done. Unbeta'd. A very quick proof, but I'm sure there are errors. Sorry.  
_


	24. Alone

**Disclaimer: All publicly recognizable characters, settings, etc. are the property of their respective owners. The original characters and plot are the property of the author. The author is in no way associated with the owners, creators or producers of any media franchise. No copyright infringement is intended.**

The Twilight Twenty-Five

Prompt: Alone

Pen name: Profmom72

Pairing: Carlisle

Rating: T

* * *

**Alone**

Vampires do change. I have. My wife and children most certainly have. We've made mistakes and learned from them.

The three men standing across from me in the meadow have not. I once considered them friends, potential brothers. With their pageantry and their fanfare and their obvious ploys, they have not grown.

I am scared for my family, and I am angry with them for the unnecessary attack. Ultimately though, the emotion that resonates the loudest is pity.

For as surrounded as they are by followers, they don't have what I do. They don't have love.

They don't have family.

* * *

_E/N: __Only one more to go! See you tomorrow!  
_


	25. Bound

**Disclaimer: All publicly recognizable characters, settings, etc. are the property of their respective owners. The original characters and plot are the property of the author. The author is in no way associated with the owners, creators or producers of any media franchise. No copyright infringement is intended.**

The Twilight Twenty-Five

Prompt:Bound

Pen name: Profmom72

Pairing: Carlisle

Rating: T

* * *

**Bound**

My family and I are inextricably bound together. It is as if we are invisibly connected with a fine string. No one can stray too far from the group without tugging on the rest of us.

For some, being tied together implies shackles and constriction. They fight against it like a newly saddled horse.

Where others focus on restraint, I see connection and unity.

Family members get on each others' nerves. They fight. They even run away.

But the string pulls you back.

Because they also love.

I have lived with no such attachments.

I promise you, bound is better.

* * *

_E/N: __And there we have it. No lost moment on that one, and the last two followed a similar theme. I enjoyed my time with Carlisle. Thanks so much for reading. Now, can you guess which was the ghost written drabble?  
_


End file.
